It's
every child right not to be bullied - Pointers for Parents
Bullying
is not a normal part of growing up and it is not part of any character building
process. Adults don't expect to be physically
or verbally abused when they go to work and children and young people have the same
right to be free from bullying and to feel safe in their environment.
What behaviours are bullying?
- Being called names,
teased, put down or threatened
- Being hit, tripped,
poked or kicked
- Having belongings stolen
or damaged
- Being ignored, left out
or having rumours spread
- Receiving abusive text
messages or emails
- Being targeted for who
you are or who you are perceived to be
Children
will tease, argue and fall in and out with each other and this is part of
growing up. However, in an environment where this behaviour is left unchecked
or isn't challenged, bullying can take place.
What signs should I look out
for that my child may be being bullied?
- Torn or damaged clothing
- Scratches and bruises
that can't really be explained
- He or she doesn't
want to go to school or is having
trouble with school work
- Changes in the route
taken to school
- He or she doesn't want
to go out and play with friends
- Uncharacteristic headaches,
stomach aches and other pains
- Easily upset,
unexplained tears or ill-tempered behaviour
This
list is by no means exhaustive. As a parent, you play a key role in helping
your child and you will know better than anyone if there's a change in their behaviour.
So, what should I do?
Do
not panic and try to keep an open mind.
Children
and young people have usually gone through a lot of upset before they come
forward and actually tell someone. This is an important step for every child and
it's not an easy one to take. Be mindful of this.
If
your child has not approached you but you have concerns, make time to discuss
how they are feeling. Encourage them to talk to a teacher, adult or the Bullyline
if they are not confident enough to talk to you at first.
Listen
and do not dismiss your child. If they have plucked up the courage to tell you,
being told to "sort it out yourself" or "hit them back" can be damaging.
Gently
encourage them to talk, find out what happened, who was involved, where and
when - and write it down if this helps. Bullying can take place anywhere, so be
aware of your child's mobile phone and internet usage.
How can I stop it?
Once
you have all the information about the situation, there are some important next
steps to consider. Understandably, parents do get angry and upset if their
child is being bullied, but acting on impulse may not be the best way to help
your child.
- Never try to sort out
the bullies yourself - this can very often make matters worse
- Include your child and
discuss how they would like to handle it - help them to feel they are gaining some control of
the situation
- Make an appointment to
speak to an adult your child feels comfortable with
- In a calm manner tell
the organisation what your child would like to do and discuss how you can
proceed from there together
- Ask for a copy of their anti-bullying
policy. They will need time to
investigate the bullying, so make a note of what they are going to do and
set up a review date
Where can I get more
information?
- respectme offers practical advice, support and training on policy and
practice development. We work with
everyone who comes into contact with children to increase their confidence
and skills to deal with children who are bullied and those who are
bullying others.
Call respectme
on 0844 800 8600, e-mail us: enquire@respectme.org.uk,
visit our website: www.respectme.org.uk, Text ‘respect' plus
message to 60066
- Children and Young people can call Childline
Scotland's
bullying line Monday to Friday 3:30pm - 9:30pm on 0800 44 1111
- Parentline Scotland is a free,
confidential, 24 hour helpline for parents concerned with a wide range of
issues, including bullying. ParentLine Scotland is open: Monday, Wednesday & Friday
9am - 5pm and Tuesday &
Thursday9am - 9pm
- Childline's website offers
information, advice and true stories about bullying. Visit: www.childline.org.uk/bullying.asp
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