Respectme

Don't panic!!  It can be easy to fly off the handle if you discover that a child or young person has been bullying someone, regardless of what form that bullying has taken, but it's important that you remain calm. 

Listen and learn; ask them what's been happening find out what's behind their behaviour

All behaviour communicates feeling.  Are they being encouraged to join in with bullying and they just do it to stay part of that group?  Are they looking for attention and this is their way of getting it?  Are they unhappy with some other aspect of their life and they're taking out their frustration on this person?   Be prepared to deal with prejudiced attitudes.  The behaviour behind the bullying might stem from racism, homophobia or ignorance about a different culture or religion.

Don't label the child or young person a ‘bully'.  Talk about the behaviour behind the bullying and why it's unacceptable.

When you've established the reasons behind the cyberbullying behaviour, explain why their behaviour is wrong

Bullying is never acceptable.  Try to get them to understand the impact that their behaviour will be having on the health and well-being of the other person.  How would they feel if someone was posting malicious messages about them on websites or sending them threatening text messages when they were in their ‘safety' of their own home?  How would they like to experience a knot in their stomach every time they receive a text message or email? 

Explain that all bullying behaviour carries consequences and they could get into serious trouble.  There are laws surrounding the use of mobile phones and the internet and it could be that their behaviour is contravening one of these laws.  Visit the section on Cyberbullying and the Law for more information.

Agree a way forward

Agree what you're going to do to stop the bullying behaviour.  You might want to alert the school, youth group or parents of the other person involved to make sure they're aware of what's been happening and to ensure that the person being bullied gets any support that they need. 

It's also important to get support for the person doing the bullying.  Revisit the reasons behind their bullying behaviour and identify the best way of dealing with this. There might be another adult, teacher or older sibling that they would feel comfortable talking to. 

There are also a number of organisations who offer a counselling service, including: The Bullying Line - 0800 44 1111 and Childline - 0800 1111

ParentLine Scotland also offers a counselling service for adults - 0808 800 2222