| What do I do if a child tells me they are being cyberbullied? |
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DON'T PANIC!!! Children and young people often tell us that they are reluctant to tell an adult that they are being cyberbullied because they believe that the adult will over-react. For children and young people this would mean having access to their mobile phone or their computer taken away. Assure them that they have done the right thing by telling you It can be difficult for children and young people to recognise that they are being cyberbullied. For many, nasty comments via text, in a chat room or on their Twitter or Facebook page is accepted as "coming with the territory". Listen and learn To support the child or young person it is important to understand what you are both dealing with. There are some questions that you can ask to find out more about what has been going on:
It is vital that they feel involved and experience an element of control about the steps that will be taken to address the bullying. The steps that you may have to consider taking are: Going through any messages that they have received and kept If you feel that any of these messages can be construed as illegal then keep copies, dates, times, email addresses or phone numbers and take them to the police. Visit the section on Cyberbullying and the Law for guidance. Asking them not to open any further online or text messages from these addresses and phone numbers, but to allow you to open them instead You might want to reply to these messages but be very careful not to respond in a manner which could be seen as threatening or harassing. It may be enough to respond saying that you are an adult and that the messages they are sending are hurtful, causing you and the young person concern, they could be against the law and that they should stop sending them. Changing their mobile phone number It is important that they know not to give their mobile number away to people that they do not trust. If the new number falls into the wrong hands again it may not be because they have been careless, but that they have given the number to someone they trusted who has then passed it on to others. Changing their online profile Log-in names on MSN can be changed easily and the child/young person should be reminded, as above, only to accept trusted real life friends as online friends. Profiles on social networking sites (Facebook, MySpace etc) can be changed. See the section on ‘Reporting online bullying' for further advice on reporting bullying to these sites. Again, a child/young person should only accept people they trust as friends. Personal and identifying details should be kept to a minimum. Pages can be made private so they are only shared with friends, and are not public and available for anyone to see. Designs or cartoon characters can be used instead of photographs and nicknames can be used instead of real names. Involve other agencies When the cyberbullying is being carried out by someone that they know and see on a regular basis, it might be worth involving other agencies. If both parties are at school, it will be helpful to make the school aware of the problems, if they're not already, and involve them in the plan of what to do. Support the child/young person It is important not to get too hung up on the fact that the child/young person has experienced cyberbullying but to recognise that they have been bullied and need the same support as they would if they had experienced any other type of bullying. This support, and their experience of how bullying is addressed and resolved, begins as soon as they tell you that they are being bullied. Your initial reaction is vital. Listen, learn, involve and resolve. |
