Respectme

We have outlined below some of the steps you should take to address the issue if bullying is happening at school if you are a parent.

• Have you spoken to the child/young person about what is going on?

YES - talk to them again and try to find out what they would like you to do.  It is important that the child/young person feels involved in plans to resolve the bullying. If you haven't already done so then perhaps take notes about the incidents - names, dates, locations, text/email messages etc.

NO - sit down with the child/young person and try to establish what is actually going on.  Is there bullying behaviour or has the child/young person just fallen out with friends and it has yet to be resolved?  Remember that children/young people fall out all the time and this is a normal part of growing up.  Just talking things through and coming up with a plan may be enough. 

If you feel that bullying is taking place then ask them what they would like to happen next.  Take notes of names, dates, incidents and copies of any worrying text messages or emails.

• Has the child/young person told any adults at school that they are being bullied?

YES - when did they tell?  Has anything happened since they told?  The first action is to allow schools time to sort out bullying incidents.  Sometimes this may take longer than you would like it to.  You are within your rights to call the school and ask them what they are doing.  Remember that it is always better to work with the school in these instances.  Ask them to keep you up to date with any progress.

NO -You need to ensure that the school is fully aware of all bullying-related incidents.  Try to find out why they haven't felt able to tell anyone and decide between you who should inform the school - you may decide to speak to the school on their behalf, go with them or encourage them to speak to someone themselves.  Even if you speak for them, the child/young person will have to be prepared to speak to a teacher or worker themselves, so make sure that they know this. 

• Does the school seem to be tackling the claim of bullying effectively?

YES - Keep in contact with the school.   What strategies do they seem to be trying in order to bring a successful conclusion for everyone involved?  Don't automatically expect them to exclude the person(s) involved, schools often employ a variety of methods to try to prevent and tackle bullying.  Some of these strategies may have an immediate effect and some may take longer.  Agree that you will both be watchful of the child/young person for the next few weeks to ensure that you pick up on any changes in behaviour.  Keep talking to the child/young person to find out how they are feeling and gauge whether or not they may need further support.

NO - Identify the most appropriate person in the school to talk to. This is likely to be a head of house, pupil/pastoral support teacher or head teacher/deputy head teacher.  Ask for a meeting with them to discuss the allegations.  Be prepared to be persistent and, where possible, demand a face to face meeting.  It's a good idea to ask for a copy of the schools anti-bullying policy before the meeting so you can familiarise yourself with it. It is recommended that all schools have an anti-bullying policy but they do not have a legal obligation to have one.  Most schools will be happy to send you a copy of their policy if they have one, and they are obliged to give you a copy under the Freedom of Information (Scotland) Act 2002. If you are having difficulty accessing the policy, you can apply to receive a copy under this Act you should apply in writing and they have to reply within 20 working days with the information you requested or a refusal with valid reasons.

respectme offers advice on what to look for in a policy call 0844 800 8600.

When you meet with the school, ask them to commit to a strategy for dealing with the allegations.  Although they can discuss these allegations quite openly, they can't talk in any detail about the person(s) carrying out the bullying behaviour as they have to respect their confidentiality as well as that of the child/young person being bullied.  The school should not suggest that it is the fault of the child/young person who is being bullied or that they should change their behaviour.  Neither should they suggest that the person who is being bullied should be the one to move class or even move to another school.  In some cases it may be worth finding out more about coping strategies for the child/young person who is being bullied. 

Try to keep any relationship with the school on a positive basis - this will always be more beneficial to all parties in the long run.

• The bullying has been going on for some time now and doesn't seem to end.

YES - Try to meet with the school again.  It may be time to demand that action is taken.  If you aren't making any progress with the school or if you don't feel the allegations are being taken seriously, then it may be time to take further action. 

Contact the local education authority and ask to see their overall anti-bullying policy.  The vast majority of authorities in Scotland have a policy.  Read the policy and identify where the school has failed to respond to the guidelines.  This can be helpful in moving the focus.  Now you will be asking them to respond to what the authority expects the school to do rather than just what you expect them to do.

If you are still not satisfied then contact someone at the authority with your concerns.  The title of the person you will need to speak will depend upon your local education authority - the school will be able to give you this information or contact your local education authority enquiry line.  There should be a poster in the school reception detailing what to do if you have a complaint.

You will be entitled to lodge a complaint about the school and their response to the bullying allegations.  The authority should be able to support you in the next steps with your complaint.  If you are still not satisfied then contact the Scottish Child Law Centre for information on your legal rights.

NO - If you are satisfied that the bullying has stopped then all that remains is for you to keep a watchful eye on the child/young person to make sure that the situation does not arise again.  Be careful to ensure that the child/young person feels empowered by the situation and isn't made to feel like a ‘victim'.  It's also worth evaluating your experience and offering to contribute to the future review of the anti-bullying policies and practices in the school.

• Is the child/young person continuing to attend school?

YES - While many young people find it difficult to attend school when they are being bullied the vast majority do continue to attend.  There may be measures that the school can put in place to support them to continue to attend while the bullying is going on.  These supports will depend on the school in question but may include strategies such as a temporary period of late starts until the situation is resolved, a buddying or mentoring system, supported after-school activities or lunch clubs.  Encourage the child/young person to attend these and access support.  Any initiative which seems to exclude the child/young person experiencing bullying should only be a temporary measure put in place when there is a safety issue.  If you agree to these measures then it is important to get the school to agree that it is only for a fixed period of time and is not an alternative to the situation being completely resolved.

NO - If the child/young person is refusing to attend school or is truanting then you must make the school aware of the reasons why.  Ask the school or local education authority to arrange a visit from the Education Welfare Officer, Home Link Worker or whoever in the authority has the statutory duty to deal with non-attendance.  If the parent/carer is seen to be condoning the non-attendance then they will be held responsible for the non-attendance.  A plan should be put in place for a supported return to school.  If the non-attendance continues then the local education authority may begin statutory proceedings to force attendance at school or look at alternative arrangements.

• Is the bullying happening on the bus to/from school?

YES - Ask if the school has a direct agreement/contract with the bus company which details its proactive measures and responses to any bullying behaviour.  Establish if there's any agreement about how the school and the bus company deal with disruption by pupils.  It is likely that the school will put you in contact with the Education Department who award the contract to the bus company.  The Education Authority is responsible, along with the bus company, for the safety of children and young people using the service.

NO - If the bullying is only happening inside the school grounds then follow the advice above.  If the bullying is also happening in the community, on the way to or from school, then it's likely to be a personal safety issue.  It is possible for schools to become involved in issues which happen outside of school but which impact upon the school day or an individual's education, but it can be difficult.  Do not hesitate to involve or seek advice from the police if harassment or assaults are taking place in the community and keep the school informed of the situation.